Be warned.... this blog post is not for the easily offended. It's raw and unplugged.....complete and total naked honesty. Try to love me anyway.
SOME TOP THINGS SINGLE PEOPLE HATE TO HEAR:1. "We're having FAMILY time first, but you can come over later."
(Why don't people realize that we aren't out to STEAL your family?..... Would it be so hard to just let us be a part of it?)2. When you go out with your married friends and they're seated before you.... "oh here... just pull up a chair on the end."
(Yeah, because I REALLY love sticking out on the end. If you only KNEW how many times we get stuck on the end, because everyone has coupled up.)3. "We have to protect the FAMILY UNIT."
(From what?? Us single people who have nothing better to do than destroy you???)4. "When are you going to get married?"
(If I KNEW that, don't you think I would be planning?)5. "We're having a card party, but it's for couples only."
(I guess it takes a ring on your finger to know how to play.... I didn't know that.)6. "You just haven't found that SPECIAL someone yet, have you?"
(Why, yes, I have actually.... I just keep him locked up during the day.... DUH.)7. "I'm sure there are some SINGLES groups out there you can join and make some friends."
(Why? Because singles can't make friends with married people??)8. "How come you haven't gotten married yet?"
(Oh, I don't know....I'd rather just let life pass me by, I guess.)9. "Well, being single just means you have more time to devote to the church."
(or be USED up by the church).10. "You just have to get close to God and be satisfied.... let HIM be your husband."
(LAME.)11. "You should be GLAD you're single..."
(mmmkay..... say that again when you spend your days and nights alone... when the phone NEVER rings.... when no one EVER knocks on your door.)12. This isn't something we hear, but rather something we'd like to say.... "Get a room!!" Seriously... do you really think we want to see couples who ABSOLUTELY can't be separated.... who can't keep their hands off of each other..... can't stop slobbering on each other?? Please... can't we just be people in public and leave the other stuff in the bedroom where it belongs?
How about these from the church....12. "Family Night Worship.....geared towards families."
(Great. Guess that means I shouldn't go. Why can't we be church.... geared towards people worshipping God together?)13. "We want all the families to come up together. Singles, just find a group you can join."
(YES, it really happens. A lot. And it's extremely humiliating.)14. "Please get together and sit with your families."
(Same as above, find a group you can join.)15. "You just have to BELIEVE God to find you a spouse. Make a list of the qualifications you want met and pray every day, believe every day......blah blah blah.
(Seriously, how weird can you get?? If formulas like that really worked, don't you think more people would be happily married?)So, okay... if you're single, then you've probably heard these phrases enough times to predict precisely when they will fall clumsily out of someone's mouth. I know countless numbers of single people who are being hurt.... BADLY.... SO BADLY.... by comments like you just read. I don't think people do it intentionally, but I REALLY wish I could go around the world and teach some stinking sensitivity.
You wouldn't constantly talk about your brand new baby in front of someone who just lost one, would you? Or how about talking about how much you love your job in front of someone who has just lost theirs? Think about it!! Don't get me wrong here, if you're happily married, I'm happy for you, but seriously, can't we just be HUMANS together? Do we really HAVE to be so divided?
Despite a well put on facade of "I'm fine", most single people are lonely, miserable.... hoping beyond hope that someone will think of them as a PERSON, not something from the alien species known as Singleous Loserous.
Here's a thought to ponder.... God didn't wake up one day and say to Himself, "Gee, I think I'll create a Married person," or "Hey, I think I'll make a Single today". My Bible says He created man in His own image. Yes, He created woman to become one with man, but He FIRST AND FOREMOST created us to be huuuuuman..... H*U*M*A*N.
And hey, did you know that, even though we're not married, we still know stuff? We're capable of contributing to a discussion, even if....GASP.... there are married people around? I know, I know... you're detecting my sarcasm, aren't you? And gosh, I was really trying to hide it.
So, I admit it.... I am struggling. SERIOUSLY struggling. The scary thing is, so are 90% of single people.... they just choose to be silent and write in their journals, rather than embarrass themselves by opening up (I apparently don't possess such wisdom). They don't WANT to be singled out anymore. They don't WANT to be labeled as pathetic... "Oh, you poor, poor dear...... all alone with nobody to love."
I am soooooooo very, very tired of being labeled as less of a person just because I don't have a husband or kids. I want to be treated like a HUMAN... like I have even a tiny bit of value, even though I'm not married.... like I'm worth something and have a purpose other than to find a mate.
Please don't consider this an attack on marriage.... PLEASE don't. And please don't lecture me for writing an angry post, or on the importance of being content where I am. Just think about the words you've read. Think about single people as just that.... PEOPLE. Someone close to you could be hurting deeply, and you may not even know it.
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