Doctors are great. They work hard, they study hard, all in the name of making the world a better place. I don't particularly enjoy going to the doctor, and rarely find the need to do so, but I am extremely grateful for the time they take to make sure I stay healthy.
With physical health, there is a science to just about everything you can imagine when it comes to the human body. If you tweak this, it makes something else goes nutty, or if you tweak that, it makes something get better.
However, I'm not so sure I believe that emotional health is a science, and thus the reason for this post. I would like to know something....
WHO decides when you're emotionally healthy, and what gives them the right? Does a degree make you qualified to tell someone that they should be done with a certain part of a grieving process? Does eight plus years of schooling mean that you can decide when someone should move on.....stop feeling bad..... stop having a pity party...... quit crying.... stop this.... stop that.... start something..... do something......??
In my line of work, I hear multiple times every week about how people are hurting, desperate for help and answers. So many of them are lonely, scared, exhausted, depressed, grieving, and more miserable than they can sanely bear. And what answers do we have to give them? Pull yourself up by your boot straps? Get over it? Quit your whining?
Our society has set up this standard of living that people must rise to and live by. We've studied our way into codes and formulas that require us to graduate from level to level in order to be declared emotionally healthy. We get tired and irritated when someone is crying too much, or, as we like to call it, wallowing in self-pity.
I am certain that my opinion of this will cause some controversy, nevertheless, it contains three very bold words........ How DARE we.
How dare we have the audacity to say when someone should and shouldn't be done dealing with stuff. How dare we tell people to stop crying.... get over it.... move on. How dare we act in judgment, rather than with love, compassion and patience. There is not ONE medicine that works for every person to become physically healthy, so why do we presume to know how to emotionally "fix" everyone with formulas and standards?
Speaking to myself and my fellow followers of Jesus' teachings, WE are the ones who should have our standards based on just that, Jesus' teachings, NOT human docrine. We so often quote I Corinthians 13. You know the verses, right? The ones we quote at weddings and funerals. The ones that we affectionately refer to as the "love scriptures".....
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
....but do we really LIVE them? Or... gosh... do we only live them until we get tired of dealing with people? I, like Paul, am the chief sinner when it comes to walking in the true sense of the word, love, and I'm pretty sure I fail more than I succeed. However, far be it from me to judge when someone should be "done" dealing with things.... "done" hurting.... "done" crying about it. I have no right, and neither does the rest of the world.
People are not projects that we can check off of our lists.
We speak to people of a loving, patient God, who made us in his image, but YIKES!! I don't know about anyone else, but this concept makes up a very scary equation. If God is love, and we're quoting the "love scriptures" to people while we're being impatient and judgmental, then why in the world would people want anything to do with Him?
Okay, okay, okay, I'll wrap it up. But please, at least think about it. Next time you start to get impatient with someone who's been dealing with stuff for a long period of time, remember that it's not our job as humans to declare people emotionally healthy. It's our job to love.... to REALLY love.... to wait.... to help, not abandon.... to be patient, kind and as gentle as we can possibly be.... and it's God's job, through Jesus, to declare when it is finished.
"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." John 8:36
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