- Iced tea. There's always tea. Always.
- Cowboys who hold doors, take their hats off and love their mamas.
- The smell of the fresh Ruidoso mountain air in the morning. Mmm...
- Brisket and fried okra. And REAL Mexican food.
- Little old grannies who boss you around and swat your butt if you're sassy.
- Going out for a "coke".
- Allsup's burritoes. It's just one of those things.
I could go on and on, but I won't. Only the New Mexico folks would understand, anyway.
Having said all that, one of the things I miss the most is, "Stop by any time!" Where I grew up, doors were open and people REALLY meant it when they threw that statement out to you. Depending on who you were visiting, you might not even have to knock. You could walk in and yell for whoever was home. They would yell back.... "We're in here... get yourself something to drink (usually tea) and get in here!" If you happened to stop by during dinner, it wasn't awkward and full of apologies. It was, "Siddown (translation: sit down). Here's a plate. Eat."
The Minnesota version of this is, "Yes... we should get together soon... let's check our schedules and calendars and find a time slot that works for all of us. Oh, and make sure you call to confirm before you come."
Huh?
You don't dare just stop by most peoples' houses here... it's considered disrespectful.
Wait.... what? Stopping by someone's house just because you're in the neighborhood and want to say hello is disrespectful? Really? Where I come from, that's one of the ways you care for people. I wish, oh, how I wish I could call a bunch of my New Mexico people up here to give these stuffy Germans and Norwegians a solid dose of good old southern hospitality.
Now, I'm not dismissing the privacy factor, as some things are very personal, but I truly don't understand the "closed door" policy most people up here seem to have. What is so wrong with stopping by just because you're thinking about someone and want them to know it? Hey, Minnesota... psst.... listen.... your life is NOT going to crumble to the ground if your friends stop by unannounced. Really. It will be okay. Sit with them. Chat with them. Care for them. Let them care for you. Who cares if your house isn't perfectly in order with vacuum lines on the carpet and a scented candle burning?! Who cares if the dishes aren't done?! Who cares if you're in your sweats and grubby t-shirt?! Live! Be real. Open up! Share!
I think we SHOULD have those real moments with each other. The down and dirty ones. The off-guard ones. The ones that show the true lives we live, rather than the perfectly tailored images we try to present when we have time to prepare. Perhaps it would do us good to open our doors and allow people to "stop by any time." We might discover that we're not all as put together as we'd like to be, and that it's okay to just be human.
Agree or disagree. That's your choice. I will leave you with this: I am not perfect. My house is sometimes really messy. The dishes are often sitting on the counter waiting to be done. Even the litter box isn't always scooped (*GASP*). But... my door is always open, so PLEASE..... stop by any time.
There's always tea.
5 comments:
AMEN to that!!!
That is so true! I'll make you the same offer; you can stop by anytime. But, if you want tea, then you'll have to give me advance notice and confirm before you come! Thanks for sharing, Michele.
Growing up on the farm, in Minnesota, it was the same that you could stop by a persons house and you were always welcomed. Did not have tea but kool-aid. To this day I do not care for kool-aid. You were usually offered a "bar"-for people who do not know what "bar" is it is a cookie made in a pan. Now in my own home people are welcomed to stop at anytime. Thanks for your thoughts. CS
However, no given community's cultural customs are inherently more or less valuable than any the customs of any other given community. Customs only come into a question of validity when they come into contact with the customs of another community. The customs of "Stop by Anytime" are no more or less to be treasured and upheld than "I just don't want to intrude," though both certainly have their blaring shortcomings. A man from Texas isn't expected to accept and buy into the customs of Canada in an instant, but if he's kind and generous, then he'll do what he can to fit in for the time he's there. Or Europe-- Are their customs any more valuable because they're four thousand years old? No, not inherently. It's a mere difference in culture: Andre Marois defined "culture" as "A community's agreed upon ways of feeling about things . . . elevated to a series of norms, of judgment and appraisal."
Personally I love it when people drop by unannounced. I've heard Minnesota was known for its friendly people but I agree that its obnoxious how people feel they have to cover up all their imperfections before anyone sees them. To me its the people who don't try to hide that i can connect with because then I realize that my family is normal. I hate Iced Tea though...
Rebekah
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