The Goathead.

Hey... Minnesota.... you know how awesome that grass feels underneath your feet, and between your toes? Well.... try taking a stroll through the grass down here in Carlsbad. G'head. Try.

Allow me to introduce you to the goathead.

No, it's not the actual head of a goat. It's a small, pea-sized "sticker" that lies, unnoticed, in the yard. That is, until you step on it with your bare feet. OR... until you step on it with a rubber-soled shoe, then drag it into the house, where it sticks in the carpet and THEN you step on it with your bare feet.

Nasty little suckers, let me tell you. First, they stick in your feet. Then, they hurt like crazy when you pull them out. THEN, after you've removed them from your feet, you get this painfully annoying ITCH. Ugh. So obnoxious.

Oh, and did I mention that if you pull them out the wrong way, you just end up pulling out the body of the sticker, and leaving the thorn behind?

Many a cuss word has been uttered over these tiny nuisances. Many a tear has been shed. Many a howl has been yelped, for even the animals aren't exempt from their wrath. If you see a dog limping through the yard, you can almost guarantee that he has stickers in his feet.

I cannot express the loathing I feel when I see/feel/remove these stupid things.

The goathead.

By the way, all those goatheads in that picture above.... are from one shoe.... one trip outside. Ready to go for a walk??

Here... as an added bonus, I give you the yard weed to enhance your stroll even further.....

The Mesquite Bush

The Mesquite Bush
AKA The New Mexico Pin Striper
AKA Future Tumbleweed
AKA #!$#*%# ... that freaking HURTS!!!

I don't think there's a New Mexican person alive who hasn't been caught in the ugly snarl of the mesquite bush. They are EVERYWHERE. No, I mean EVERYWHERE. You can't walk two feet in a field without one reaching out and grabbing your pant leg... your hair... your skin. Oh, and don't think you can just untangle yourself and walk away. That's just not how it works.

I believe they work in sneaky, spiny teams. The first one snags you up, while the others lie in wait. Then, just as you think you're free, their thorny little fingers reach out and begin to devour you, leaving you striped and desperate for freedom.

If you manage to break free, you gingerly step your way back to your vehicle, throw it in reverse and get the heck out of there.

But wait!!!

That screeeeeeing you hear....? That high pitched piercing that's wreaking havoc on your poor eardrums....? THAT..... is the sound of round two of the attack. Those two inch blood sucking thorns are removing the paint from the side of your truck (Yes, TRUCK. Because why would you drive through mesquite in a car? Duh.) as you try to make your escape.

As panic sets in, you begin to drive faster. Big mistake. Round three of the genius plan is being set in motion behind the scenes, and you don't even know it's coming. You see, in cooperation with the mesquite army, the wind begins to blow, and the giant tumbleweeds (former mesquite bushes) set themselves to roll into your path. Oh, they WILL get you. Their offensive strategy is to send out the little guys first. No big deal, right? You smash those brave little martyrs, and continue on your way.

And then..... the big dog. The father of all things that tumble. Bigger than a Volkswagon Bug, it bounds its way out into the road... baboom baboom baboom........ SMASH!!!!! You hit it. You swerve all over, throw down on the brakes, throw up your heart, swallow it back again......aaaaaaaaaaand.... you're okay.

You pull over to take a breath.. you have to get out of the car a minute. You step out into the desert air, and gasp for oxygen, and even though it's a hundred and fifteen degrees, you still suck it in. Pacing back and forth, you swallow the calm and feel you can get back into your truck to carry on. You baby step your way back to the driver's side door when....... BAM. You're snagged by a mesquite bush.

Yep. Sticky little suckers.

The Irrigation Ditch

So. I am visiting my "homeland" of Carlsbad, New Mexico for ten days. For those of you who are geographically challenged, Carlsbad is in the southeastern corner of New Mexico, and New Mexico IS in the United States.

Anyway...

Since I live in Minnesota, I thought I would gift my northern friends with some good 'ole edjercayshun on what it's like to live down here in this desert wasteland. I hope you enjoy these posts.

Today, I give you......

The Irrigation Ditch.

Now doesn't that nasty green water look delish??

Down here, in order to irrigate your crops, you go buy some water, they send it down the big canal, it gets routed to your ditch, and you irrigate from there. On SUPER hot days... you know... when it gets up to 110 or 115 degrees, you can throw your inner tube in and float down your property. Just watch your head when you go under the walk ways!

Unfortunately, with the current drought in Carlsbad, most people aren't getting a lot of water, so they really have to pick and choose which crops they irrigate. My father, who has alfalfa fields and pecan (pronounced puh-con, not pee-con or pee-CAN, which is out behind the barn for when you can't make it to the house in time) trees, is choosing to keep his trees alive and let the fields sit dormant. 

Carlsbad is full of dirt farmers right now. There's plenty of that.

So, there you have it... the irrigation ditch.